sysrick.com

Below is the text of an email a friend/business-associate of mine sent me about his ordeal last night. Damn funny read!


Ok, this is NOT one of those internet stories that someone sent to me. This actually happened to me tonight. Most people wouldn't share this... but it's too entertaining to keep to myself.

At 1AM, I'm brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to bed. I get into bed, then remember that I didn't let the dogs out. So, I get up in my boxers, bare feet and a t-shirt and head downstairs. I let them out in the backyard, and get a drink of water. I wait a few minutes - then open the door to call them in. It's then that I notice my American Bulldog is running around the built in BBQ which is permenantly mounted to my deck. He's very excited barking and pawing at it. I go out on the deck and slowly open the grill... I see nothing. But he is still going crazy. So as any single male without a wife to yell at him for doing stupid things would do, I decide, to fire up the grill and see what I can flush out. I run the grill for a minute... but nothing. I'm disappointed. It's then, I hear something rustling in the metal post the grill is mounted on. There is a round hole in the shaft so that gas can't build up in the base and blow my grill into the neighbors yard. However, at this moment in time, my dog is trying to stick his face through the 3 inch hole to get what ever is on the other side. I'm like a 8 year old at this point... and think I can top my last stupid trick. Thinking of what I can do to flush out whatever is in my grill, I leave the dog on guard and run into the garage and find the first sprayable chemical I can find... which happens to be starting fluid (Either) - obviously highly flammable. So I run back (in my boxers, bare feet and t-shirt), pull the dog back - and spray the hole.... nothing comes out.... I'm disappointed - I am out of ideas at this point, as I scratch my head with the BBQ lighter - I get an idea (I'm 5 years old at this point) and I will soon find out It's a very bad idea... I'll torch the the invader - after alll BBQ grills are made for this type thing. Again I pull back the dog... and lower the long tipped lighter with the red handle... to the hole - click, click and ..... POOOOOF!!! then....to my surprise - out jumps a flaming RAT!!! - I jump back in fright as a 5 year old should... but this is only the beginning. The rat's on fire, and determined to make a run for it. Which means I have a flaming rat problem. The rat runs across the deck and jumps off, then runs into my neighbors yard (on fire) As he squeezes under the fence - he lights my neighbors pine straw on fire. Something I didn't plan for. I of course panic, then I look over and notice my BBQ is still on fire. I quickly grab the dogs water dish and manage to get it... now I need to tend to the fire in my neighbors yard - while the flaming rat now has run back into my yard (obviously disoriented) my dogs quickly pursue him... I run to scale the fence - in my underwear, bare feet and a t shirt... at 1AM in the morning. I make it over the fence and do a fire walker trick stopping out the flames in my bare feet. The fire is out... I look over and see both dogs surrounding the corner fence post of my yard. I see no flames thank god. But there perched on the top of the fence post is the rat - thank god he is safe... i mean, has gone out. But his ass is black from the ordeal... we looked at each other and call a truce.

I had to start laughing at this point (as I stood in my neighbors yard at 1AM in my underwear - as this was by far the most stupid thing i have ever done. I ran in the house and got my camera - I was lucky to get a picture of the rat with the burned ass... as this is another one that you need to see to believe.